Mainely Men 88 — Fall 2025
Friday, October 10 through Monday, October 13, 2025
Click here for what to expect at Mainely Men gatherings
Scroll down for workshop information, our rate structure, and the weekend schedule.
But first, hello!
We are pleased that Ed Valentine will be our pinky!
The theme will be Grounded Masculinity versus Performative Masculinity.
We see a lot of performative manhood in DC. Call it Massive Manhood. We at MM exemplify manhood with much more depth and substance. There is a crisis of manhood amongst young men, so what essentials of manhood can we inculcate or pass on to them?
Workshops based directly on our theme
Performative vs. Fundamental Masculinity – Which of the following represent fundamental masculinity: World Wrestling Foundation versus championship boxing? The Revolutionary or the Steward? George W. Bush versus Dwight D. Eisenhower? I’ll call for each attendee to write down a characteristic that he considers fundamentally masculine. We will try to discuss them in the time provided. Would these qualities of fundamental masculinity work just as well for women? We’ll discuss this toward the end of our workshop. Led by Ed V.
“Masculinity is not a Pathology,” Of Boys and Men, Richard V. Reeves – Richard Reeves’s book Of Boys and Men has initiated a new generation of studies in masculinity. Reeves engages us men in his discussion while backing up his points with rigorous studies. We can discuss each of the themes which run through his book. Whether we come to consensus is immaterial; what counts is the discussion. Led by Ed V.
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Additional workshops
Caregiving – Being a caregiver can be stressful, especially when dealing with someone with dementia. There are financial, personal, health, legal, and social issues that come into play. In this discussion group we will have a chance to share our experiences, along with whatever helpful tips attendees may have picked up along the way. If you are a caregiver, it helps to know you are not alone! Led by Mike N.
Discovering Delicious Modal Jazz! – Do you like the music of John Coltrane? We will talk about modal jazz: what it is and how it makes us feel. Who are the jazz musicians who make it so good? We’ll hear plenty of great jazz! Come listen and talk about the jazz music that you love. Led by Eric A.
Gay Literature, Films, and Series – In the last fifty years for literature, thirty years for film, and twenty years for TV and streaming series gay sub-genres have flourished. Examples are (literature) In Memoriam, by Alice Winn; “Heartstopper” (British); “Young Royals” (Swedish); “Merli, Sempere Aude” (Spanish, Catalan); and “Heartbreak High” (Australian – newer edition). What are your favorites? Let’s discuss them and list them, so that each of us discover new books or shows that we might have overlooked. Led by Ed V.
Men Singing Together – This workshop will focus on breathing, being in tune pitch wise and emotionally with your brothers. There is the possibility of singing as a group for the cultural event: so, that would be, ironically, performative masculinity. This would honor and continue the tradition of Jesse, who loved to get men together to sing. Led by Tim C.
Moral Bingo – Think you know yourself? Think you know the guy next to you? Time to find out—in the most unexpected way. Welcome to Moral Bingo, a high-energy, laugh-out-loud workshop where introspection meets competition. Using a classic bingo card format, you’ll answer a wild mix of questions that dig into your moral instincts, personal boundaries, and gut reactions. Every answer gets you closer to shouting BINGO!—but the real win is discovering what makes you tick. Led by Rudy N.
Navigating Sexual Identity, Gender, and Orientation – This workshop introduces two models pertaining to human sexuality: one that describes the components of “Sexual Being,” and the second a close-up focus on the components of sexual identity including gender, orientation, sex assigned at birth and cis- and transgender. The outcome is to arrive at an expanded view of the landscape of human sexuality from what we may have grown up with and an appreciation of how we each have navigated the territory between social expectations and authentic expression. Led by Muncie M.
Otroverts (the sense of feeling other) – Do you have a sense of being other? Not quite fitting in? Are you comfortable being alone but feel outside of the group in social situations, perhaps even at Mainely Men? It might be that there’s nothing wrong with you. You might just be exhibiting the characteristics of an otrovert. If this concept of otroverts resonates with you, I hope you’ll join the discussion. If you have a phone or laptop, bring it so you can download a questionnaire to see where you fit on the otrovert scale. Led by Chris N.
Pack Cuddle – The Pack Cuddle is a clothing-optional, guided group touch experience. Men will lie down in a large heap. There is deep, slow breathing, and sometimes sounds that indicate happiness. Arms gently find their way so that men feel “held.” Men may cry from a sense of safety and belonging. Men will shift positions for comfort. This will cause others to move in response, and a new cuddle will form. Men will need to bring a blanket or sleeping bag. Led by Dan M.
Philosophical Questions: Sharpen Your Mind with Big Questions – Ready for questions that challenge you? Dive into philosophical questions that push your mental limits. These aren’t abstract debates—they’re the kind of deep thinking that sharpens your decision-making in real life. Whether it’s how you lead, vote, spend your time, or invest your energy, critical thinking gives you the edge. No easy answers here—just bold conversations and fun facts about human nature, morality, the universe, and what comes after. Bring your brain. Leave the fluff. Led by Steve C.
Poems of Love and Friendship – This is an informal workshop which will include poems from ancient Greece through the Elizabethan age and the romantic and modern eras. We will also read poems by Mainely Men founder Dodd Roberts. Led by Tim C.
Redirecting the Story of Our Lives (getting unstuck) – Do you feel stuck in your routines? Stuck in a relationship, a job, or with friends who don’t really seem to ‘get you’ or bring you joy? Do you feel stuck in your thinking? What if you could get unstuck? What if it’s as simple as changing your story? What if you could “write” or “tell” your way out of your present situation and into the story you really want to experience? We’ll explore Kurt Vonnegut’s story shapes as templates for change. We’ll also look at Joseph Campbell’s story shape, the Hero’s Journey. Led by Chris N.
Searching for the Lost Trail to Manhood – This workshop will be a discussion on key rites of passage as boys transitioned into men prior to the industrial revolution. Participants will explore contemporary equivalents of those traditional milestones and whether boys today are missing key connections and experiences. What might gatherings like Mainely Men might do to help reestablish lost connections and experiences? Led by Steven M.
Strong in Your Skin: Building Body Confidence from the Inside Out – We will explore the idea of body confidence through breathwork, gentle movement, and honest dialogue. We will reflect on emotional patterns and societal pressures that shape how we see ourselves. Using the metaphor of the “Hungry Ghost”—a symbol of craving and unmet emotional needs—we’ll ask, “Where do I seek validation,” and “What am I really hungry for?” This workshop will encourage connection to the body and a shift from a sense of striving to feeling strong and grounded. Led by Eric D.
These Old Pipes: Aging and Sexual and Urinary Health – This workshop invites honest, respectful, and open conversation about what it means when “the plumbing” doesn’t work like it used to. We’ll explore the physical and emotional impact of changes in erectile function, libido, ejaculation, urinary control, and more. Most importantly we’ll reflect together on how these changes affect our self-image, sense of masculinity, and relationships—and how we might navigate these transitions with dignity, humor, and support. Led by Jon H.
Topic Raffle – A staple offering at our gatherings, this “raffle” is an open-topic discussion. Each man anonymously contributes a topic for the group to discuss. Men then choose at random from these topics. Each draw may result in laughter or thoughtful discussion. Led by John P.
Yoga Nidra – Yoga Nidra, derived from the tantras, is a powerful technique in which you learn to relax consciously. Yoga nidra is the state of dynamic sleep. Yoga nidra is a systematic method of inducing physical, mental and emotional relaxation. In this session, you will lie down and be guided through a visualization to achieve total relaxation by focusing inward, staying aware and awake. Bring a blanket or sleeping bag large enough to lay on and another with which to cover yourself. Led by Eric D.
Registration
Please note that we have updated our registration guidelines.
Registration includes same-day registration while offering an incentive to register early.
- Register and pay in full by September 26 at the advance registration rates shown below.
- First-time participants will receive a 25% discount off either the advance or late registration rate (whichever applies).
More details on the registration page. Click on the green Register Here! button above.
| Advance Registration – through 09/26/2025 | Late Registration – starting 09/27/2025 | ||||
| Annual Income | Returning Participant | First-time Participant | Annual Income | Returning Participant | First-time Participant |
| Under $20,000 | 210.00 | 158.00 | Under $20,000 | 260.00 | 208.00 |
| $20,000 – $30,000 | 285.00 | 214.00 | $20,000 – $30,000 | 335.00 | 264.00 |
| Over $30,000 | 320.00 | 240.00 | Over $30,000 | 370.00 | 290.00 |
A note about food and accommodations:
- Hearty meals are prepared by Pilgrim Lodge staff. When you register, indicate whether you have vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, or other special dietary needs, and we will try to accommodate.
- Requests for financial, dietary, or accessibility accommodations must be included during the advance registration period. They cannot be honored with late registration.
We have a limited number of partial scholarships available for returnees; inquire in advance with our registrar, Bill Walsh, at
Past Workshops
- See our past workshops
Weekend Schedule
Friday
3:00–5:45 – Greeting and Registration
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
6:30 – Camp Director Information / Board Introductions / Pinky Announcements
7:00–7:30 – Newcomer orientation
7:30–9:00 – Procession & Smoke Cleansing / Opening Circle Ceremony
9:00–9:30 – Heart Groups
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees)
Saturday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:30 – Workshop Session 1
10:00–11:30 – Workshop Session 2
12:00–12:45 – Lunch
12:45–1:15 – Group Photo
1:15–2:15 – Board Meeting Round Table
2:30–4:00 – Workshop Session 3
4:30–6:00 – Workshop Session 4
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
7:30–8:00 – Heart Groups
8:00 – Personal Time / Fire Pit / Board Games / Music Circle
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees)
Sunday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:30 – Workshop Session 5
10:00–11:30 – Workshop Session 6
12:00–1:00 – Lunch
1:00–5:00 – Affinity Groups / Free Time
3:30–5:00 – Angel Walk
5:15–5:45 – Heart Groups
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
7:30–9:00 – Cultural Event
9:00 – Personal Time / Fire Pit / Board Games / Music Circle
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees)
Monday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:15–9:30 – Closing Circle
10:00–11:30 – Workshop Session 7
12:00–1:00 – Lunch
1:00 – Clean-up of cabins and lodge