What to Expect at Our Gatherings
Through workshops, ritual, music, discussion groups, and one-on-one conversations, men explore traditional and changing views of masculinity as well as other issues men face.
For details about the next gathering, go here.
Come see why Mainely Men has been around for 40 years!
On this page
Welcome!
Mainely Men welcomes men 18 and older from all backgrounds—across races, sexual orientations, economic circumstances, and belief systems. It’s a place where men nurture and are nurtured, teach and learn, heal and grow, and take meaningful risks. We offer a supportive environment where men can recognize their shared humanity while celebrating their individuality.
We strive to create a safe space for honest conversation about careers, family, relationships, health, and personal challenges—topics men often have few opportunities to discuss openly. Through storytelling, reflection, and connection, men build trust and deepen their awareness of themselves and others.
For more than four decades, Mainely Men has remained a diverse, inclusive, and welcoming community. New participants bring fresh energy, while returning men sustain the continuity and spirit that define our gatherings.
What We Care About
Men are encouraged to build friendships, join workshops, share talents, relax, enjoy the woods, and explore who they are. Mainely Men offers a comfortable setting to reflect on traditional male roles and consider new possibilities. Workshops may focus on strengthening relationships, nurturing oneself and others, navigating life transitions, and exploring spirituality through ritual and reflection.
Some workshops are simply about fun—building, writing, painting, dancing, hiking, or yoga. Some weekends include campfires or sweat lodges, offering time to unwind and reconnect.
Where We Gather
Pilgrim Lodge
Mainely Men gathers at Pilgrim Lodge, a beautiful, secluded, and rustic 100-acre setting in West Gardiner, Maine. Located ten miles southwest of Augusta, Pilgrim Lodge sits on the east shore of Lake Cobbosseecontee. The Lodge was completed in 1930 as a private camp for adults. It was purchased by the Maine Conference, United Church of Christ, as a home for their summer camping program in 1956. The main lodge features meeting rooms, a craft room, stone fireplaces, wood stoves, and a porch with great views of the lake.
All weekend operations are handled by volunteers, and every participant is encouraged to help with tasks such as collecting firewood or cleaning up.
The site includes two playing fields, swimming and boating docks with canoes, walking trails, an outdoor chapel, and a stone labyrinth.
The lodge and grounds are not fully barrier‑free. Please contact the registrar with any questions. We do our best to accommodate men of all abilities.
Pilgrim Lodge also owns two nearby islands—one open to kayakers and one preserved as protected forest. Altogether, the property encompasses roughly 100 acres of beautiful woodland.
Sleeping Accommodations
Men sleep in simple cabins connected by an accessible boardwalk. Each cabin has a screened porch, bunks with mattresses, electricity, a wood stove, and a bathroom. Most have hot water for showers.
Meals
Meals are prepared by Pilgrim Lodge staff and served in the dining hall. Vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, and other special dietary needs should be indicated on your registration form. Coffee, tea, and snacks are available throughout the weekend.
Registration and Fees
Attendance fees cover all weekend expenses and are offered on a sliding scale. First‑time participants receive an introductory discount.
Current registration fees are listed on the webpage for the upcoming gathering.
Enrollment is first‑come, first‑served, and early online registration helps us plan effectively. Retreat fees support all activities and operations. If you cannot attend the entire weekend, contact our registrar, Bill Walsh, at to discuss what options may be available. We will confirm your registration via e-mail.
Attendance fees cover all expenses for the weekend and are based on a sliding scale. A limited number of partial scholarships are available for returnees. Inquire in advance with the registrar. Please register early so we can best plan for our gathering. Registrants will receive a weekend schedule by email.
The online registration form will direct you to pay your fee through PayPal. You will also be given the option to pay with your credit card or debit card.
Newcomers
If this is your first time attending Mainely Men, welcome! Please do take advantage of our introductory discount.
Upon arrival, you will be greeted by a volunteer who will answer your questions and can help you find a cabin. After Friday night dinner, you are invited to attend the orientation meeting where a volunteer will provide you with an overview of the weekend.
COVID Requirements
Effective August 2023, proof of vaccination is no longer required. Please read our COVID policy.
Arrival and Departure
Plan to arrive on Friday after 3:00 p.m. Departure is around 1:00 p.m. on the last day of the gathering.
What to Bring
- Warm sleeping bag or bedding, and pillow
- Warm clothing, including rain gear
- Toiletry articles (soap, shampoo, etc.), including towels
- Flip-flops
- Flashlight
- Swimwear if you plan to swim
- A snack to share
- Musical instruments or sheet music. There is a piano.
- Recorded music as accompaniment for the cultural event
- Books or articles related to men’s issues
- Props/materials if you plan to participate in the cultural event
- Items for the Wall of Interest if you plan to display
- A camera, binoculars, natural history guides
What Not to Bring
- Alcohol
- Drugs (see medical marijuana policy)
- Pets other than service animals
- Children under 18 years of age
Sample Weekend Schedule
Friday
3:00–5:45 – Greeting and Registration
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
6:30 – Camp Director Info / Board Introductions / Pinky Announcements
7:00–7:30 – Newcomer orientation
7:30–9:00 – Procession & Smoke Cleansing / Opening Circle
9:00–9:30 – Heart Groups
10:00 – Quiet Time
Saturday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:30 – Workshop Session 1
10:00–11:30 – Workshop Session 2
12:00–12:45 – Lunch
12:45–1:15 – Group Photo
1:30–3:00 – Workshop Session 3
3:30–5:00 – Angel Walk
5:00–6:00 – Heart Groups
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
7:30–9:00 – Cultural Event / Bonfire / Games
10:00 – Quiet Time
Sunday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:00 – Heart Groups
9:00–10:30 – Workshop Session 4
10:30–11:00 – Board Round Table
11:00–12:00 – Closing Circle
12:00–1:00 – Lunch
1:00 – Cleanup of lodge
Our Traditions
We have many traditions that serve as common threads to bring men together. We explain these in an orientation to all new participants.
Opening/Closing Circles
Through introductions and ceremony at opening circle, you will learn about the theme of the weekend and get to know something about the other men. Closing circle is your opportunity to share what you have learned, say goodbye, and network for ongoing support.
Workshops
Workshops are led by participants with skills to share or ideas to discuss. Workshops give men a chance to learn in an open and safe environment. Topics have included photography, poetry, line dancing, yoga, tai chi, masculinity, and issues related to men’s health. See more at the links on our Upcoming and Past Gatherings page.
Affinity Groups
Affinity groups are informal conversations on a particular topic like 12-step support, male survivors of abuse, parenting, health, etc. These informal discussions are arranged by posting a sign-up sheet with the group’s subject, time, and location.
Heart Groups
Heart Groups offer a safe and empowering space for men to learn about themselves. Heart Group leaders engage men in a small-group setting conducive to sharing and trust. Heart Group meetings begin following the opening circle and continue throughout the weekend.
Cultural Event
Any participant may perform a song, dance, skit, poetry reading, or anything else of entertainment value. You are welcome just to sit and enjoy, but if you have never performed, here’s your chance; you are not likely to ever find a more receptive, appreciative, and supportive audience.
The Wall of Interests
We want to know who you are and what you are interested in! What are your hobbies, your art, your craft or collection? We set up an area where you can leave items you wish to share.
Music Jam/Dance
Men are always invited to participate in drumming, music, and dancing. We’ll provide the space if you bring the music and instruments.
Spirituality
The grounds feature an outdoor chapel and a labyrinth in a hemlock forest to reflect in at any time.
Sports and Recreation
The lodge offers fields, trails, ping-pong, swimming, and kayaking and canoeing. Bring the gear you need and organize any game you may enjoy.
More photos of us doing what we do…
