What to Expect at Our Gatherings
Through workshops, ritual, music, discussion groups, sports, and one-on-one conversations, men explore traditional and changing views of masculinity as well as other issues men face.
For details about the next gathering, go here.
Come see why Mainely Men has been around for 40 years!
On this page
Welcome!
Mainely Men welcomes men 18 and over of all races, sexual orientations, economic levels, from all religions or none. Men nurture and are nurtured, heal and are healed, teach and are taught, expand limits, and take risks. Mainely Men offers a supportive place for men to recognize and celebrate diverse experiences and their uniqueness as individuals.
We strive to provide a safe environment where men can tell stories, discuss careers, family, and relationships, and share problems. Men may share about health, jobs, significant others, and children at levels not usually available to them in their daily lives. Men develop trust and gain a stronger awareness of themselves and others.
Mainely Men has sustained itself as a safe, diverse, inclusively accepting organization for over four decades because it renews itself through the infusion of new participants and keeps its continuity through the many men who return year after year.
What We Care About
Men are encouraged to develop friendships, participate in workshops, share talents, relax, enjoy the woods, and learn more about themselves. Mainely Men provides a comfortable environment where men may examine traditional male roles and explore what it means to assume alternative roles. Workshops may focus on
- Improving relationships with parents, children, co-workers, or partners.
- Nurturing oneself and others through workshops on personal growth.
- Encouraging inclusive interactions with other men and the larger society.
- Coping with life challenges such as divorce, aging, grief, and loss.
- Discovering spiritual connections through participation in ritual.
Some workshops offer opportunities for fun, whether through building, writing, painting, dancing, hiking, or canoeing. Some weekends we build campfires or sweat lodges.
Where We Gather
Pilgrim Lodge
Mainely Men meets at Pilgrim Lodge, a beautiful, secluded, and rustic 100-acre setting in West Gardiner, Maine, located ten miles southwest of Augusta, Pilgrim Lodge sits on the east shore of Lake Cobbosseecontee. The Lodge was completed in 1930 as a private camp for adults. It was purchased by the Maine Conference, United Church of Christ, as a home for their summer camping program in 1956.
Men assemble for socializing and workshops at the Main Lodge, which features meeting rooms, a craft room, stone fireplaces, a wood stove, and a porch with great views of the lake.
Sleeping Accommodations
Men sleep in simple cabins along the lake shore connected by an accessible boardwalk. Most cabins have hot running water for showers. Each cabin has a screened porch, an average of 8 bunks with mattresses, electricity, lights, a wood stove, and a bathroom with hot showers.
Meals
Hearty meals are prepared by Pilgrim Lodge staff and are served in the newly built Dining Hall from dinner on the first evening through lunch the last day. Vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, and other special dietary needs should be indicated on your registration form, and we will try to accommodate them. Coffee, tea, and snacks are available throughout the weekend.
All the work which makes the weekend happen is done by volunteers. Each participant is encouraged to volunteer for work details (collecting firewood, cleaning up, etc.).
There are two playing fields, an outdoor chapel, swimming and boating docks with canoes, walking trails, and a stone labyrinth.
The lodge and grounds are not totally barrier-free. See the information about accessibility below, and please ask the registrar if you have additional questions. We do our best to accommodate men of all abilities.
Pilgrim Lodge also owns two islands off the mainland, one available for kayakers and one which is deemed a forest preserve and not available for use. In total there are approximately 100 acres of beautiful woods.
Registration and Fees
Attendance fees cover all expenses for the weekend and are based on a sliding scale. If this is your first time attending Mainely Men, take advantage of our 25% introductory discount.
Current registration fees are on the webpage for the next gathering.
Enrollment is on a first-come, first-served basis. We encourage you to register online as early as possible to assist us in our planning. Retreat fees cover the cost of everything we do. If you cannot attend the entire weekend, contact the registrar at to discuss what options may be available. We will confirm your registration via e-mail.
Attendance fees cover all expenses for the weekend and are based on a sliding scale. There are also a limited number of partial scholarships available for returnees; if interested, inquire in advance with our registrar, Bill Walsh, at . Please register early so we can best plan for our gathering. All registrants will receive a weekend schedule by email. Also, look for any last-minute updates which will be posted in the lodge.
The online registration form will direct you to pay your fee through PayPal. You will also be given the option to pay with your credit card or debit card.
Newcomers
If this is your first time attending Mainely Men, welcome! Please do take advantage of our 25% introductory discount.
Upon arrival, you will be greeted by a volunteer who will answer your questions and can help you find a cabin. After Friday night dinner, you are invited to attend the New Men’s Orientation meeting where a volunteer will provide you with an overview of the weekend.
COVID Requirements
Effective August 2023
Proof of vaccination is no longer required. Please read our updated COVID policy.
Arrival and Departure Times
You may check in on Friday after 3:00 p.m. Mainely Men and Pilgrim Lodge staff will be setting up until then.
Departure is around 1:00 p.m. on the last day of the gathering.
What to Bring
- Warm sleeping bag or bedding, and pillow
- Warm clothing, including rain gear
- Toiletry articles (soap, shampoo, etc.), including towels
- Flip-flops
- Flashlight
- Swimwear if you plan to swim
- A snack to share
- Musical instruments if you’d like to do some jamming
- Sheet music (there is a piano)
- Recorded music as accompaniment for the cultural event or dance program
- Books or articles related to men’s issues
- Props/materials if you plan to participate in the cultural event
- Items for the Wall of Interest if you plan to display
- A camera, binoculars, natural history guides
What Not to Bring
- Alcohol
- Drugs (see medical marijuana policy below)
- Pets other than service animals
- Children under 18 years of age
Sample Schedules
Spring Sample Schedule
Friday
3:00–5:45 – Greeting and Registration
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
6:30 – Camp Director Information / Board Introductions / Pinky Announcements
7:00–7:30 – Newcomer orientation
7:30–9:00 – Procession & Smoke Cleansing / Opening Circle Ceremony
9:00–9:30 – Heart Groups
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees)
Saturday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:30 – Workshop Session 1
10:00–11:30 – Workshop Session 2
12:00–12:45 – Lunch
12:45–1:15 – Group Photo
1:30–3:00 – Workshop Session 3
3:30–5:00 – Angel Walk
5:00–6:00 – Heart Group Meeting
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
7:30–9:00 – Cultural Event / Bonfire / Games / Movie (to be determined)
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees)
Sunday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:00 – Heart Groups
9:00–10:30 – Workshop Session 4
10:30–11:00 – Mainely Men Board Round Table
11:00–12:00 – Closing Circle Ceremony
12:00–1:00 – Lunch
1:00 – As-needed Cleanup of Pilgrim Lodge (cabins and Old Lodge)
Fall Sample Schedule
Friday
3:00–5:45 – Greeting and Registration
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
6:30 – Camp Director Information / Board Introductions / Pinky Announcements
7:00–7:30 – Newcomer orientation
7:30–9:00 – Procession & Smoke Cleansing / Opening Circle Ceremony
9:00–9:30 – Heart Groups
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees)
Saturday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:30 – Workshop Session 1
10:00–11:30 – Workshop Session 2
12:00–12:45 – Lunch
12:45–1:15 – Group Photo
1:30–3:00 – Workshop Session 3
3:30–5:00 – Angel Walk
5:00–6:00 – Heart Group Meeting
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
7:30–9:00 – Bonfire / Games / Movie (to be determined)
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees)
Sunday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:30 – Workshop Session 4
10:00–11:30 – Workshop Session 5
12:00–1:00 – Lunch
1:00–2:30 – Workshop Session 6
3:00–4:30 – Workshop Session 7
5:00–6:00 – Heart Group Meeting
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
7:30–9:00 – Cultural Event
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees)
Monday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:00 – Heart Groups
9:00–10:30 – Workshop Session 8
10:30–11:00 – Mainely Men Board Round Table
11:00–12:00 – Closing Circle Ceremony
12:00–1:00 – Lunch
1:00 – As-needed Cleanup of Pilgrim Lodge (cabins and Old Lodge)
Our Traditions
We have many traditions that serve as common threads to bring men together. We explain these in an orientation to all new participants.
Opening/Closing Circles
Through introductions and ceremony at opening circle, you will learn about the theme of the weekend and get to know something about the other men. Closing circle is your opportunity to share what you have learned, say goodbye, and network for ongoing support.
Workshops
Workshops are led by participants with skills to share or ideas to discuss. Workshops give men a chance to learn in an open and safe environment. Topics have included photography, poetry, line dancing, yoga, tai chi, masculinity, sex, and men’s health. See more at the links on our Upcoming and Past Gatherings page.
Leading a Workshop
If you wish to lead a workshop, please email our Workshop Coordinator with a description of your workshop. If there is a topic you would like offered but do not wish to lead, indicate this and we will see what we can do.
Affinity Groups
Affinity groups are informal conversations on a particular topic like 12-step support, male survivors of abuse, divorced dad issues, health, etc. These informal discussions are arranged by posting a request on the community bulletin board with the meeting’s subject, time, and location.
Heart Groups
Heart Groups offer a safe and empowering space for men to learn about themselves. Heart Group leaders engage men in a small group setting conducive to sharing and trust. Heart Group meetings begin following the opening circle and continue throughout the weekend.
Cultural Event
On the last evening of the gathering you are invited to an often-hilarious evening of entertainment at our cultural event. Any participant may perform a song, dance, story, skit, musical piece, poetry reading, or anything else of entertainment value. You are welcome just to sit and enjoy, but if you have never performed, here’s your chance; you are not likely to ever find a more receptive, appreciative, and supportive audience.
The Wall of Interests
We want to know who you are and what you are interested in! What are your hobbies, your art, your craft or collection? We set up an area where you can leave items you wish to share.
We have no way of securing your items overnight. Whatever you bring is your responsibility. If you have any questions, send us an email.
Music Jam/Dance
After the formal entertainment, men are invited to stay as long as they want for an informal night of drumming, music and dancing. We’ll provide the space if you bring the music and instruments.
Spirituality
The grounds feature a labyrinth in a hemlock forest where men can walk and reflect at any time during the weekend.
Sports and Recreation
The lodge offers athletic fields, hiking trails, volleyball, fishing, ping-pong, swimming and canoeing. Bring the gear you need and organize any game you may enjoy.
More photos of us doing what we do…
