Mainely Men 86 — Fall 2024
Registration for MM86 is now closed.
MM86 will be held Friday, October 11 – Monday, October 14, 2024.
What to expect at Mainely Men Gatherings
The theme for MM86 will be “Strong at the Broken Places”
“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”
Our theme is inspired by this quote by Ernest Hemingway: “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” Challenges and hardships are a part of life and may initially break us, but we all have the capacity to overcome the trials that come our way and emerge stronger and more resilient.
Workshop information is below, but first…
Let us introduce our pinky, Tim Carpenter!
Pinkies run the weekend. They develop the theme, conduct opening and closing circles, and are the main go-tos for whatever you might
need while at a gathering. Pinkies are the faces and vibe of the weekend. Pinkies change with each gathering, and for MM86 we are fortunate to have Tim Carpenter!
Tim Carpenter grew up in rural northwestern Pennsylvania, the oldest of four brothers – with all the advantages and liabilities that came with his birth order. That experience did not quite prepare him for the coming challenges of life but let him know that he would need to seek out allies and companions for the journey ahead. Along the way, he managed to earn degrees in mathematics, music, and education. He found community in men’s groups, choral singing, covenant groups, and in the family he and his partner have created. He has discovered that gardening brings him great joy and the realization that his garden is also a good teacher. He is not a stranger to brokenness or the journey toward strength and wholeness.
Workshops
Theme workshops for “Strong at the Broken Places” include
Being “Strong at the Broken Places” – “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” — Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms. When you break a bone in your body, your body works to repair the break by adding more bone material and knitting the broken parts together. There is a scar – a reminder of the break – but the body does a remarkable thing and remodels the bone scar so that it is more like the tissue around it. And that place, where it was broken, becomes the strongest part of the bone. When our lives, or spirits, or worlds seem broken, how do we knit those parts back together? This workshop will be led by Tim Carpenter.
Stoicism: No thanks! Well, maybe… – “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” — Marcus Aurelius. When thinking of a stoic person we often think of the image of someone standing, unmoved and emotionless while being (metaphorically) pummeled by disaster, disease, trials and tribulations. That is not Stoicism. At its heart Stoicism, as a philosophy and practice, is differentiating between what we can change and what we can’t; what we have influence over and what we don’t. So the disaster, disease, trials and tribulations come, but the stoic is not emotionless and unmoved. The stoic is actively working to realize and make real the positive possibilities and choices those external events provide. How have we, or can we, use this way of thinking and being as a way toward becoming greater and more, not less, than we were before? This workshop will be led by Ralph Parks.
The Journey Matters More Than the Outcome – “Accept the things to which fate binds you and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” — Marcus Aurelius. In our brokenness we often feel alone, lost, ashamed, dwelling on the past and fearful of the future. The present may seem hopeless. The way back from hopelessness is to accept that, for whatever reason, we are where we are, and we do not need to be alone on our journey. There are those along our path who will accompany us along the way – and we need those companions for as long as they are willing to be with us. This workshop will include an exercise in making beauty out of brokenness as we create mosaics from pieces of broken ceramic tiles. We will also talk about journeys and companions. This workshop will be led by Tim Carpenter.
Additional workshops include
Broken But Beautiful: A Rock Painting Workshop – Join our fun, hands-on rock painting workshop. In keeping with our weekend theme of “Strong at the Broken Places,” this activity explores resilience through art, where you’ll paint rocks to symbolize strength in adversity. Engage in meaningful discussion and creative expression as you transform imperfections into powerful symbols of endurance. All levels welcome! Led by Rudy Narvaez, who has held multiple fun and creative workshops at Mainely Men.
Energy Medicine – This Workshop will include an introduction to Energy Medicine, including Acupuncture, Distance Healing, and Electric Therapy. We will discuss some of the research on the topics as well. After the discussion there will be demos on any attendees who would like to be worked on. There will be time for electroacupuncture (without needles), BEST energy balancing sessions, and 2 or 3 needle acupuncture treatments. Mike Noonan has been performing energy treatments for over 30 years in his Chiropractic practice, including acupuncture, electroacupuncture, and BEST energy balancing.
A Flairwell to Arms… – Explore feelings of brokenness in a supportive group setting. Relate potential strategies for healing to fellow attendees. Celebrate transcending life’s hardships. Participants will disrobe and be divided into small groups. Individuals in each small group will serve as a ‘canvas’ on a rotating basis. Fellow small group members will write positive, affirmative messages onto the ‘canvas’ using ink designed specifically for use on skin. Members will then be reassigned to new small groups and apply their handprints onto each other using paint designed specifically for use on skin. The application method will be organized, a bit physically demanding, and highly satisfying. This is a non-sexual workshop that will be conducted nude and without genital contact. Shawn lives in Eastern Massachusetts and has enjoyed nude recreation from Miami to Richmond, ME. A former city dweller, he enjoys photographing the diverse wildlife of suburbia.
Line Dancing (2 sessions) – Line dancing has become a tradition at Mainely Men. Session one is for beginners: learn basic steps and basic dances of varying styles and music. Session two is for those who already know some basic steps and dances. We’ll use session two to practice a dance for the Sunday night cultural event show. Led by George Oliver, a skilled dancer and regular contributor to our weekend cultural event.
Love Magic: A Secret Recipe for Happy Relationships – Relationships can be a source of fun, love, support, companionship, growth, memories and so much more. Yet making them work is not easy; now, where is that owner’s manual, anyway? Often, we feel vulnerable, hurt, sad and angry. Misunderstandings, mistakes and conflicts can tear at the fabric of our affection and our commitment. This workshop offers some guidance on what makes a relationship thrive, with some key ingredients for communicating, managing differences and nurturing your relationship into the future with authenticity and joy! Eric is a longtime couples counselor and a man with a heart. He has called Mainely Men home since 1995.
Making Sense of the Hammered Dulcimer – Let’s demystify the hammered dulcimer! I will demonstrate various tunes and patterns and encourage participants to try the basics of how to start playing. An assortment of hammered dulcimers will be available for participants to try – and/or feel free to bring your own. This will be geared towards beginners with no musical experience. Limited to 10. Note: Please let me know ahead of time if this interests you. I could bring extra hammered dulcimers – and tuning them is a big commitment. Also, let me know if you will bring your own hammered dulcimer as this will add extra attendance slots over the 10. Keith is on the board of MM and an accomplished hammered dulcimer player. You can find him playing at farmer’s markets, local lunches and gatherings, and various fairs, including the Common Ground Fair and Deerfield Fair.
Nature Walk – Plants and soil are rife with mysteries. The latest science is advancing toward an understanding of plants as sentient beings, capable of mutualism and communication. We will take a slow and mindful walk through the nature that surrounds us to discover the wonders that abound all around us, all the time. This will be a collaborative effort, and each participant is urged to add their specialness, even if it is simply sharing your awe. Meet at the bell at the foot of the steps of the old lodge. Mike is always most enthusiastic to share his expertise of the outdoors to participants of Mainely Men during our fall gatherings.
Pack Cuddle – A shoes-off, clothing-on (underwear-the bare minimum), non-sexual, non-genital-contact, guided group touch experience. By signing up you agree to being touched. After a warm-up period, men very carefully lie down in a large heap. It is quiet and restful. There is deep, slow breathing, and sometimes sounds that indicate happiness. Arms gently find their way so that most men are “held” in a sense. Men may will cry from a sense of feeling safe and loved and “belonging.” As time passes, men will need to shift positions for comfort. This will cause others to move in response, and a new cuddle will form. Men wishing to participate will need to bring an extra blanket or sleeping bag. Led by Doug Bird. New to Mainely Men, Doug has been involved with men’s groups for 40 years. His memoir, From Faggot to Grandpa, written under the pseudonym Brian Raines, is now available on Amazon.
Philosophical Questions to Stretch Your Mental Legs – Philosophical questions can help us think critically. Building a practice of thinking critically will empower us to make decisions that we feel confident in—whether it’s how we vote, spend our time, or use our resources. Philosophical questions often don’t have straightforward answers. They involve human nature, the origins of the universe, morality, ethics, and the afterlife. Each man will draw a question from the deck. Other men will be permitted to comment. Led by Rudy Narvaez, who has held multiple workshops on introspection and self-discovery.
Reading Walt Whitman – This workshop will focus on reading Walt Whitman …naked! It will be an opportunity to relax, naked optional…and learn about Walt Whitman, …and his brothers…his friends and brothers in the Civil War, and the ‘body electric.’ Kent is a regular participant of Mainely Men and fond of the writings of Walt Whitman.
Remembering Our Fathers – Please join me in recalling our times from childhood and growing up with our dads/fathers. This workshop is all about sharing. For some there are loving and uplifting memories, for others not so much. Regardless, our father or “father figure” is/was probably one of the most influential persons affecting who we have become. Come share how the pieces fit together… Led by Steve Casillas, an active participant since MM76. He loves Maine more than his home state of Texas. Steve is on the Mainely Men board of directors.
SOS(x2): Sharing Our Sorrow, Soothing Our Soul – This workshop is a discussion-based session where men can share or give voice to a grief, loss, regret, or sorrow they’ve been holding inside, and which has been weighing them down or blocking their peace and happiness. Speaking to one’s pain in a trusted environment may help us move closer toward healing, acceptance, and be embraced literally or figuratively by other men sharing their own inner angst. The aim is to be vulnerable, share our mutual pain or loss, and provide support for each other as we air our sorrows together. Led by Jon Henry, a member of the Mainely Men board of directors.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves – The stories we tell ourselves over and over have a huge impact on who we become and what we experience in life. Our very essence as a man, a lover, a father, a friend, a hero, a victim. . . is in good part due to these stories. More specifically, it’s the power we give those stories that brings them into reality. In this workshop we will use the power of story as an avenue to explore some of the stories within our own lives. The stories may be interesting, or boring; they may be hilarious, or quite sad, perhaps frightening. They may put a spotlight on some very positive things within or they may reveal some very dark things. Regardless, we will create a safe space to tell these tales so that we can use their stories to change our lives for the better. Led by Chris Newcomb
Trusting the Creative Process – Creativity enhances every aspect of our lives by providing more meaningful and rich experiences. The creative process requires us to go to new places in our thinking; to challenge assumptions; to take risks; to step into the unknown. And though that can be frightening, if we trust the process, we will see magical results. Our minds will open, our hearts will be enlarged. Engaging in the creative process breaks boundaries we’ve imposed on our lives. We can see life from new perspectives. And, most importantly, we will see quite clearly that we are not the sole creators of our lives, we are co-creators with the creative process. Fun fact: When we trust the process, we don’t need to trust ourselves, or some other person, or some idea, or deity. We just trust the process and it yields the results. We will play a lot during this workshop. We’ll play with ideas, things, and each other to attempt to spark our imagination and reveal the creative genius within each of us. Led by Chris Newcomb
Past Workshops
- See our past workshops
Fees
| Annual income | Returnee Fee | Newcomer fee * |
| Under $20,000 | $200.00 | $150.00 |
| $20,000 – $30,000 | $270.00 | $202.50 |
| $30,000 or more | $305.00 | $228.75 |
- Newcomers receive a 25% Discount
There are also a limited number of partial scholarships available for returnees; inquire in advance with our Registrar, Bill Walsh at
“Strong at the Broken Places” Weekend Schedule
Friday
3:00–5:45 – Greetings and Registration
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
6:30 – Camp Director Information / Board Introductions / Pinky Announcements
7:00–7:30 – Newcomer Orientation
7:30–9:30 – Opening Circle / Heart Groups
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees.)
Saturday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:30 – Workshop – Session 1
10:00–11:30 – Workshop – Session 2
12:00–12:45 – Lunch
12:45–1:15 – Group Photo
1:15–2:15 – Board Meeting Round Table
2:30–4:00 – Workshop – Session 3
4:30–6:00 – Angel Walk
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
7:30–8:00 – Heart Groups
8:00 – Personal Time / Fire Pit / Board Games / Music Circle
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees.)
Sunday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:00–9:30 – Workshop – Session 4
10:00–11:30 – Workshop – Session 5
12:00–1:00 – Lunch
1:00–3:30 – Affinity Groups / Free Time
3:30–5:00 – Workshop – Session 6
5:15–5:45 – Heart Groups
6:00–7:00 – Dinner
7:30–9:00 – Cultural Event
10:00 – Quiet Time (Please be respectful of sleeping attendees.)
Monday
7:00–8:00 – Breakfast
8:15–8:45 – Heart Groups
9:00–10:30 – Workshop – Session 7
11:00–12:00 – Closing Circle Ceremony
12:00–1:00 – Lunch
1:00 – As-needed Cleanup of Pilgrim Lodge (cabins and Old Lodge)