Mainely Men

Mainely Men 58 is set for October 8-11, 2010. You may download a PDF of the MM 58 Brochure. It includes information about Mainely Men as well as a registration form for you to mail in.

See you there!

Mainely Men Board Meeting Minutes – January 14, 2006

Members Present: Robert Paradis, Joe Minott, Guy Cousins, Roy Nelles, Robert SanGiovanni and Keith Prairie. Absent: Steve Mairs Also present: Dan Berglund, Tor Smith, and Ashley Lenartson,

1 Ashley’s Survey
2 Brochure.
3 Financial Report.
4 Theme / Workshops
5 Cook / Food
6 Assigned duties for next retreat
7 Outreach
8 MM 50
9 Mission Statement
10 Minutes approval approved with addition
11 Set date for next meeting.

Opened the meeting at about 10:30

Discussion about next meeting to be 3-18-06 @10:00am.

Keith P. and Robert P. to find a place in the Portland area and notify others about location.

Brochures to be mailed by 3-20
Ashley Time 20min
Financial report 5 min
4 food 5 min
Duties 10 min
Outreach 10 min
MM50 15 min
Mission statement 5 min
Honorary Pinky 5 min

Discussion about Ashley’s suggested brochure changes: Finances need to be addressed elsewhere. Masturbation to be omitted as a topic. Other changes look OK. Add web address. Board to see a draft of new brochure Guy to send out and Board to give feedback and/or approve for mailing by first week in Feb. Survey was discussed. Copy of will be attached to minutes.

Burden Basket or survey card for participants tabled for later discussion.

Finances: Joe; letter from Jack read by Joe. Copy to be attached. CD was discussed. Board voted to table decision for CD till next meeting.

Tor has been underwriting Common ground Fair costs. Yea!

Roy challenged board to contribute to the annual fund

Theme and workshops
For 49
Home: What does it means to me?
Home: the journey home.
Home: seeking a spiritual life style.

Dan. Sat morning large group discussion around weekend theme.

Board voted on “HOME” as topic for 49 and to be included in brochure with wording to be approved with draft of brochure. FOOD went extremely well this past conference. Paul Fuller for chef at 50. Alan to be chef for 49 and to lead into a hybrid model of food for the future. Assign duties for next retreat

Registration: Guy & Joe
Nametags: Ashley
Fire tender: Robert S
Pinky: Tor
Cultural event: Robert
Dance: Roy and to segue from CE
Angel walk: Guy & Steve P
Opening circle: Tor and others
Composting & Recycling: the Roberts
Games / Sports director: Roy & Guy
Newby Co-coordinator: Tor
Bookshelf: Tor
Coordinator for Bulletin board for men’s groups: Robert S
Board members to lead a W/S along lines of “Home.”
Outreach taking the message outside of MM.
Putting back into community.
Helping out at Pilgrim Lodge spring clean up, fall closing, firewood
Visibility and promotion
Guy to talk to Bryan
MM 50
Celebration of 25 years
Board voted Alan L to be pinky @ MM50.

Discussion of:
Gathering of the pinkys
Fire-walk and/or Sweat
Keeper of the sweat

Invitation to John Bly to attend and be a keeper of the sweat and possibly mentor another man to be a keeper of the sweat.
Mission Statement

Was discussed briefly and tabled for further discussion with Steve M present.
Fee Structure

We decided to keep fee structure for 49 and to not increase fees too much in fall for 4 day weekend.

Discussion of Honoring Pinkeys

Elders and men who have been in Pinkie role.

Joe and Guy to get pink bandannas for all the past pinkies for them to wear from opening circle on.

A Tee-shirts collection “scrap book” was mentioned as an interesting idea.

Agenda for next meeting:
Policy about e-mail etiquette
Mission statement
Feedback cards
MM poster
Food was great

Mainely Men Board Meeting Minutes – March 19, 2005

Members Present: Guy Cousins (Registrar), Joe Minot, Vince Dufort, Eric Aronson, Keith Prairie, Roy Nelles, Steven Mairs, Robert Paradis, Alan Littlefield (Historian); Not Present: Jacques Wienstein (Treasurer)

A. Acceptance of Minutes – Approved by consensus

B. Treasurer’s Report – Tabled

C. Brochure and Mailing
* Finalized text and design: MM’s new and improved brochures were unveiled which will include language alluding to the next gathering’s theme (drafted by Eric).
Elimination of non-essential information to allow room for inclusion of two registration forms on a single sheet is among the improvements.
A font change was suggested by Roy N.
Approval by consensus was given pending correction of a clerical error with a telephone number pointed out by Keith P.
* MM is set to send out approximately 4,000 pieces in this mailing.
Efforts to reduce duplicate mailings were discussed.
The Board also discussed ways to remind members to invite friends to upcoming gatherings.
Steve M. suggested emailing registration forms wherever possible to cut down postage expense.
Vince D. re-introduced PayPal as a payment option which could increase registration to upcoming gatherings.
Some security concerns were discussed. The Board approved this method and authorized Vince to take necessary action.

D. Outreach/Advertising – Tabled?

E. Spring Theme and Workshops
* Eric clarified his vision for the upcoming weekend as an opportunity to reflect on where the men’s movement has come from, where we are today and where we are heading. Jacques W., Bert DeFrees, Howard Solomon and Steve Putnam’s names were mentioned as possible leaders of workshops related to this.
* The following preliminary roster was developed:
o Where We’ve Come From – Steve Putnam?
o What Mainely Men Did For Me – Robert Paradis, Steven Mairs
o Men Moving Men – Roy Nelles et al
o Mentoring – Steven Mairs

F. Weekend Program (continued)
* Mainely Men BoD is interested in reviewing and possibly updating our Mission Statement.
Robert P., Steven M. and Guy C. will coordinate the availability of Flip charts within the main lodge throughout the weekend as a way of soliciting broad participation as we gather ideas.
* An outline for the weekend was prepared by our next Pinkie, Eric. There was some discussion concerning excessively long opening circle.
In consideration, some segments were consolidated together to save time and at least one (Calling the Four Directions) was eliminated from the action lineup.
The ‘Fire Walk’ will also be moved to Saturday night (after the Cultural Event) and will be held in lieu of a dance.
* Jacques W. has agreed to lead the Bread Baking workshop.
* Steve Putnam is slated to lead the Angel Walk.

G. Other Tasks and Responsibilities for the Weekend
* Robert S., Robert P. and Steven M. have been identified as Smudgers preceding formation of the Opening Circle.
* Vince Dufort will host the Cultural Event
* Alan L., Guy Cousins and Steven M. will coordinate a Mainely Men Video Festival currently slated to be held in Cabin ‘A’. The availability of an ongoing presentation of a “California Men” gathering video as well as “A Gathering of Men” the PBS special with Robert Bly hosted by Bill Moyers. Guy will bring the necessary AV equipment and ‘California’ video, Steve M. the ‘Bly’ VHS tape.

H. Men’s Resource Center Ad Update – Tabled?

J.Review of Mainely Men Mission
Mainely Men BoD is interested in reviewing and possibly updating our Mission Statement.
Robert P., Steven M. and Guy C. will coordinate the availability of Flip charts within the main lodge throughout the weekend as a way of soliciting broad participation as we gather ideas.

K. Other Business – None

Prepared by Steven D. Mairs

Mainely Men Board Meeting Minutes – January 8, 2005

Members Present: Roy Nelles, Eric Aronson, Joe Minott, Vince Dufort. Treasurer: Jacques Weinstein and Keith Prairie. Excused: Steven Mairs, Robert Paradis, Guy Cousins (Registrar) and Alan Littlefield (Historian)

Back to Minutes page

Reviewed minutes from October – Change suggested by Joe, he will identify a church board member we can approach. Change will be made to minutes to reflect the change and letter will be drawn up to present to board Vince will correct minutes and draft letter. Jacques will help finalize.

Vote on new board members: Jim Fotter (interim replacement Vince) and Eric Aronson’s terms are up. Eric, Joe and Roy voted – Vince removed himself from vote.
Keith Prairie and Vince Dufort will fill the two upcoming vacancies – Robert Sangiovanni will be asked to be an alternate.
Keith and Vince accepted their nominations.

Treasurer’s report: Current balance in account $4667.68. Result of donation solicication – $919.20

Men’s Resource Center Ad: Discussed possibility of charges for MRC ad. Mailing to three lists including past participants. Check ad prices for similar ads with similar circulation. See if MRC is still interested in ad. Keith will investigate ad costs and Vince will check with MRC.

Supporting Boys to Men: Do we want to support them and how? Add link on our website. Display their literature at our retreat. Donate $100.00. Use tablespace at conference for MM. Vince will add link. Jacques will draw check.

Grant proposals: Decided to table the discussion as Ashley was not present.

Vince will contact Ashley to see where he is with the proposal.

Brochures and mailings: We need to finalize the mailing brochure for the spring meeting. Have no materials from the committees to present to the board. Vince will contact Ashely to integrate the progress, also contact with Guy.

Promotion and outreach: Have not heard back from committee yet. MM45 survey results needed. What are we doing wrong vs what are we doing right. Vince pointed out that spring date is same as GMG. Will solicit input from committees

Board also discussed doing what is right rather than asking what is wrong. Vince will contact committee. Eric will look for survey results. Vince will see if lodge would move date.

Spring Weekend: Discussed overall goal and possible sub-themes/theme-related workshops. Themes included:

* History of the men’s Movement or “How we got here”
* What’s New & Exciting in the Men’s Movement / “Where we are going”
* Redefining Men in Relationship, including Men’s Groups
* The Men’s Movement and Parenting / Mentoring / Grandparent / Uncle / Elder / Son / Grandson / Son in law
* Diversity, Sexual Orientation and the Men’s movement
* The Men’s Movement and Challenges from Women
* Men and Movement

Other outreach. Possibility of advertising on NPR. Denis Ledoux has already done so for his own use – has contacts and abilities. Will contact Denis for ideas and help.

Children at retreat: At a request from a member we discussed the idea of allowing children to accompany fathers in special cases. At this time, the board did not feel comfortable accepting this responsibility and setting the precedent. Vince will advise the member of the board’s decision.

Succession of Pinkies: Pinkie succession should be noted in advance. Current succession is Eric, Joe, Roy.

Next Board Meeting: Next meeting will focus on the weekend. Need an agenda, time and place. Place TBD, options are Steve’s place or Guy’s place.

Proposed date of meeting March 12. Alternate date March 19.

Vince will contact Steve and Guy to see availabilities and confirm location. Pinkie (Eric) will set time and agenda.

Capital Weekly Freelance Reporter, Dan Harrington, wrote an article about Mainely Men, ‘A chance to connect’ which was published May 19, 2009.

When Alan Littlefield got married in 1984 he faced an unexpected problem.

“I had a lot of women friends, and I realized I hadn’t made many friends with men. I wanted to re-connect with other men. When you’re married, you can’t go out with girls,” he said with a laugh.

The 57-year-old Bristol resident is now on the board of directors for Mainely Men, a men’s retreat that takes place twice a year at Pilgrim Lodge in West Gardiner.

Read more …

Mainely Men Board Meeting Minutes – October 10, 2004

Board present: Eric Aronson, Vince Dufort, Roy Nelles, Joe Minot. Also present: Jack Weinsten – Treas., Guy Cousins – Registrar, Alan Littlefield and participants of MM 46.
Back to Minutes page

Financial: Jack reported deficit of $1200 and made recommendations, including organizing another fund solicitation. Jack will cash in Certificate of Deposit and put it into checking account so that we can cover this shortage. Jack will cash in CD. Joe will approach CHurch of Christ to identify board members.

Outreach: Discussed low attendance and what can be done about it. Formaed a Promotion/Outreach committee to work on new non-date specific brochure, regular date specific brochure, and distribution of outreach materials. Ashley, Robert S and Tor will begin working on items immediately. Vince will act as board liason to this committee.

Common Ground Fair: Tor reported on CGF experience and made recommendations for next year. Preparation for Common Ground Fair will begin from Spring through to Fall of 2005. Robert S. will check out option for a men’s circle with CGF organizers. Tor and Robert S.

Welcome and nominations: Welcome extended to new board member Steve Mairs. Discussed process of new members and made waiting list of potential new board members. Waiting list for new board members includes Robert Paradis, Daniel Berglund, Robert SanGiovanni, Ashley and Keith Prairie.

Web site: Vince discussed web site. Vince with others will continue to develop site.

Men’s resource center ad proposal: Roy described MRC services. Reviewed a request to put ad in Spring brochure. MRC will be allowed upon approval, a one time ad in the Spring brochure for a fee to be decided.

Grant research and applications: Ashley proposed researcing grants to help fund MM. Ashley will research grants and bring information to board prior to any proposals being submitted. Ashley

3 and/or 4 day weekends in fall: Roy proposed alternating 3 and 4 day fall weekends in hopes of taking it off Columbus Day Weekend in the fall every other year. The intention is to increase fall attendance. Guy will look into flexibility in terms of this issue and depending on result will or will not look at this issue in the future. Guy will contact Pilgrim Lodge.

Pinkie: Vince will pass on Pinkie to Eric at end of Fall weekend. Eric accepted Pinkie position.

Spring weekend theme: Eric proposed spring weekend theme: The Men’s Movement, What does it mean to you? Theme accepted. Vince will post theme on web site.

Spring weekend dates: Guy announced that Spring weekend dates for MM47 will be on May 20th to May 22nd. Accepted dates.

Meeting adjourned at 3pm. Respectfully submitted by Roy Nelles.

Mainely Men Board Meeting Minutes – February 29, 2004

Members Present: Mark Allen, Tommy Allan, Eric Aronson, Guy Cousins, Paul Fuller, Jim Fotter, and Alan Littlefield.

Back to Minutes page

Mainely Men Meaning: Each board member shared their feelings and thoughts regarding the meaning of Mainely Men and their expectations of Mainely Men.

The group produced 13 discussion questions that were distilled into 5 themes.
They were:

What do we want the MM experience to be?
What do we want the MM Board experience to be?
Promotion of conference.
Programming.
Financial concerns.

Outreach: The board revisited several outreach initiatives to increase attendance.

Last year, the Men’s Resource Center (MRC) committed to provided MM their mailing list. Obtain a copy of the MRC mailing list. Guy Cousins.

The group agreed that providing information about MM to licensed counselors in the state has a high potential of increasing conference attendance.
Obtain a mailing list of licensed counselors in the state and send them information materials on MM. This can be given to their clients. Guy Cousins. UU Church.
TV/Radio Show – Board Member presentation. Jim Fotter
Common Ground Fair.
Sell T-Shirts
Board Members: The group decided to invite Roy Nelles and Joe Minot to join the MM board. Their 3-year term will commence in May. Contact Joe Minot. Contact Roy Nelles. Mark Allen.

Financial Reports: Report dated October, 2003 reflects a checking balance of $611.53 and $1,000 in a 6-month certificate of deposit.
As of January 3, 2004 we have received a total of $1,230 in donations. The mailing cost was $238.12. Net donations are $991.88.

2004 Conference Dates:
MM#45 – 5/14/04 through 5/16/04.
MM#46 – 10/8/04 through 10/11/04.

Next Board Meeting:
Next meeting will take place at MM#45. Time to be set by Pinkie.
Tommy Allan.

Mainely Men Board Meeting Minutes – October 12, 2003

Members Present: Mark Allen, Tommy Allan, Eric Aronson, Guy Cousins, Paul Fuller, and Alan Littlefield. Guest: Tor Smith.

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Smoking Area at Pilgrim: The smoking area restrictions in Pilgrim Lodge rules conflicts with Mainely Men’s understanding of the front porch and the parking area. Obtain clarification from Pilgrim Lodge manager. Mark.

There was a suggestion to relocate the smoking area from the front porch. Paul offered a tarp that could be erected at the group picture area. Discuss at next board meeting. Board Members.

Website: Mark Allen and his partner continue to develop the website. Continue to develop and launch. Mark and his partner. Guy’s email address needs to be changed on interim AOL website. Change Guy’s email address. Alan.

Press Release : In efforts to increase attendance at future MM weekends, the group decided to support various outreach opportunities. Contact Portland area media venues (Time Warner Public Access Channel, Casco Bay Weekly, The Phoenix). Tommy

One press release needs to be written to support a consistent message. It needs to be brief. Write press release for use in print and on TV. There was brief discussion regarding the timing of announcements. Decision needed. Board Members at next board meeting.

Registration Form Revisions: Several revisions need to be made in the registration form. * Space needed to accommodate registrants’ workshop topics. * Update return address. * Add contact information.

Board Membership: The topic of changing board membership by adding an alternate position was discussed. Decision needed. Board Members at next board meeting.

Mark Allen and Guy Cousins will be leaving the board in May. Two new members needed. Nominees accepted are: Joe Minot, Roy Nelles, and Brian Quinn. Select two nominees and establish contact plan. Board Members at next board meeting.

Financial Reserves: Expenses exceeded registration fees collected for MM#44. MM reserves cannot support many more retreats without fees covering expenses. We must take action now. Discuss progress. Board Members at next board meeting.

Ideas discussed:
Increase 3-day retreat registration fee range to $50-$75).
Change MM#45 registration form to:

Income < $10K, fee = $50
Income $10-20K, fee = $65
Income > $20K, fee = $75

Solicit charitable donations.
Obtain SECA grant.
Solicit advertisements from businesses whose mission aligns with MM’s.
Lifeguard: A couple of registrants relayed complaints to board members stating the lifeguard’s behavior as rude during the weekend. Questionable homophobia was mentioned in the discussion. The board will consider any potential candidates presented for the lifeguard position. Monitor future comments on this subject. Board members.
Outreach: The board revisited several outreach initiatives to increase attendance.

MM was represented at the Common Ground Fair last month. Coordinate participation efforts to attend the 2004 Fair. Tor Smith and Alan Littlefield.

Engage counseling professionals in our outreach activities. Distribute printed materials to area counseling professionals.

Inreach activities. Jim Fotter. MM #45 Assigned Duties:

Mark Allen to include assigned duties list of volunteers in these minutes. Pinkie -
Tommy Allan
Cultural Event Emcee – Ashley Lenartson
Workshop – Eric Aronson
Soundman – Keith Prairie
Name tags – Joe Minot
Opening Ceremony – Tom Allan & Jim F.
Registration/welcome table – Jim F.
Newcomer orientation – Jim F.
Burden basket – Not Assigned
Worry Log – Not Assigned
Drumming/Open ceremony – Not Assigned
Bread Baking – Not Assigned

Schedule Dates for Future MM Weekends:
2004 Dates are: May 14-16, October 8-11

Next Board Meeting:
Next meeting will take this winter. Time and location to be determined.

Financial statements:
Available upon request.